“…there comes a time, Timelord, when every lonely little boy must learn how to dance!”
~ The Girl in the Fireplace, Doctor Who
This quote has stayed with me from the very first time I heard it uttered. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m a Doctor Who fan. I’ve seen them all multiple times; like Shakespeare and the Bible, each reading (or viewing in this case) often leads to a new emphasis on a word, a phrase, a scene. What might have seemed simple at the time, now speaks volumes to a new, emerging part of my soul. It’s just a show. Sure. But aren’t they all (shows, books, plays, etc) just reflections of human emotion? Of course they are.
I’m not sure why this quote stayed with me. Perhaps it’s because David Tennant played that “lonely little boy” so well that I found myself thinking, “Yes! He needs to dance”. Because after all, isn’t dance such a wonderful way to free yourself from your inhibitions? Maybe it’s because I thought of Pride and Prejudice. Where would have been without the dance? Ms. Bennett would have never met Mr. Darcy. Another lonely little boy. But of course, I’m over thinking. Because over thinking is what I do.
But dancing is more than proper, formal movement; or completely random bursts of energy as you toss yourself around on the floor. It’s a reaction to music deep within your soul. It’s listening at its greatest. Not to the words or the beat with your ears, but allowing your soul to react to what it hears. I’m talking about when you truly dance, truly allow yourself to lose yourself to the music and let yourself go. I believe that’s what Reinette meant when she told the Doctor he needed to learn to dance. She wanted him to listen to the rhythm of the music, the reaction deep within his soul.
Dancing goes back thousands of years for good reason. Whether it’s ceremonial or meditative, music and dancing have allowed people to experience a connection–a personal connection– that no other medium can supply. Think about it. What happens when you hear your favorite song on the radio? You smile, you turn it up and you can’t help but bebop along behind your steering wheel or wherever you may be. Your attention is drawn to the song until the very last beat, making it hard to concentrate fully on anything else. A part of you, I suggest your soul, won’t allow it. Your soul is reacting and try as you might, it will not stop. When you give in and dance, allowing your soul to express its happiness (or sadness) in the particular song, you are finally listening. You are giving yourself over to the true self. To who you are in the deepest, darkest, all too often hidden pieces of yourself.
Now, I’m not saying if you listen to Death Metal you have tendency towards violence or anything like that. I’m saying something in the beat, something in the MUSIC is speaking to you. Let it react! I love a few of Marilyn Manson’s songs…Rob Zombie has some that I can’t help but crank up. I have a lot of different songs that make me happy or sad or melancholy or reflective, depending on my mood. Listen to what your soul is saying when it reacts. Music is a very, very powerful medium.
Recently, at the recommendation of someone who knows me very well and knew I needed a little peace, I bought the Loreena McKennitt’s Book of Secrets CD. It has helped me in ways I forgot were possible. Not only does it instantly calm me, it makes my heart and soul react. My heart skips a beat when certain songs come on; my soul perks up and takes in every beat. I don’t even know if I can explain the physical reaction, but the emotional one is of peace, ache and joy; a connection to something much, much larger than myself. It’s spiritual for me. I think that’s the only way I can describe it. It allows my soul to connect to the oneness of the universe. All through song. Because it’s what my soul needs. It needs peace. And it needs to dance to that peace.
The past two years have been chaotic in my soul and I have found myself cut off from the sacredness I hold deep inside. I’ve forgotten how to do the things I truly love. Be the person I truly love to be. I’ve forgotten how to dance. But I’m ready to rekindle that connection with my soul; ready to be who I am supposed to be.
While not a little boy (or a Timelord for that matter), I am lonely. I am very, very lonely. No one can ever fill that void if I can’t listen to the music and allow my soul react. But more importantly, to listen to what it’s telling me. To allow it peace and joy and yes, even sadness. It’s time I take the hand of my soul and learn to dance.